ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
