I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
