just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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