Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Come see our sink grown plant.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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