cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
