he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
