Fine. I'll sleep in my office
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
