I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize