he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
