i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
