This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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