he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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