yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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