All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize