Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
