Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
