god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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