i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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