why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
