their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
