But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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