whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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