You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
