This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
