Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
