operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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