In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
