Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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