He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Someone came in the potted fern
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
