he shaved USA in his pubs
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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