I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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