i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
