i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize