If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize