so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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