we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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