so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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