its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
