Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Someone came in the potted fern
sex in a hospital.. check
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
