im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
