I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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