she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize