have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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