I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
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sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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