Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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