how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This is my gift to your gina
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
