so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
