Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
