So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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