at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
