Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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