i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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