sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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