His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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