and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
