I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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