So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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