You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
