I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize
