a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
