Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.