I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.