I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
