what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
