We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
