she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Boobs are out for the taking
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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